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How to Outsmart Smart Phones Through Emotional Intelligence

Adolescents are probably familiar with what an IQ score means, but do they know what it means to be emotionally intelligent? Talking with adolescents about emotionally intelligent traits in relation to their online presence can help them foster skills to become healthy users and consumers of media.

Trait #1
Self-Awareness

Note how social media impacts your mood. Does Snapchat make you anxious? Is seeing posts or comments upsetting to you? Could your own posts get you into trouble?

 

Better understanding yourself and your feelings will assist you in more effectively navigating social media.

Trait #2
Self-Regulation

You are in control. A social media post or a text may cause intense emotions, but resist that knee-jerk reaction.

 

Know what you stand for, how you want others to see you, and know that you can think before responding. Take five deep breaths and put the phone down for a minute. This could help you act in line with your values.

Trait #3
Motivation

Always keep your future self in mind. Would you like to go to college or get a job one day? Then you should have high standards for yourself and how you appear online.

 

A photo of yourself undressed or smoking weed could haunt your future.

Trait #4
Social Skills

You can type out your message and then you can choose to send it, delete it, or change it. Read your message first, and then ask, “How could the other person take this?” If your message could be misunderstood or bring on a negative response, rewrite it.

 

And ask for help! Asking a friend or a parent about a text/post you are about to send can help you see it as others might see it.

Trait #5
Empathy

Think about how your online posts affect other people. Would someone be hurt if they saw something you wrote? Your online comments can be kind and generous. If you notice someone seems upset, reach out. You can like their post, send a nice comment, or personally message them.

 

A little thought, and a quick post, can make a big impact.

HOW DOES
SAMANTHA
EXEMPLIFY EI?

Samantha’s Instagram post on the one-year anniversary of the death of a girl from her Cheerleading team suggests she possesses emotional intelligence. Samantha is aware of how she may affect others and how she can work toward an online environment of warmth and positive regard. Her post was thoughtful. She typed it out and read it before she sent it. Her message was: be kind to others, online and offline. She also sells bracelets to raise kindness awareness. Her values are strong. She cares about others who may be suffering, silently or aloud, and tries to be kind.

Here's what Samantha's friends had to say...

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References

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Biri, K. (2018). Disclosing the self to others online: The experiences of socially anxious college-aged females. Manuscript submitted for publication.  

​

Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership that gets results. Harvard Business Review, 78(2), 78-90.

I try to help out as much as possible... try to be there for other people...I try to be that friend that they didn't have. If I do comment on something, it's a positive comment. My thoughts are always like, 'will this get me in trouble at school?'.

Samantha, 14 years old

Samantha -
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